How Can Something So Bad Feel So Good...

That's how it all starts... It all Starts with that one thing you say to spark a conversation which leads to something that only you could ever dream about experiencing. Have you ever loved someone so much that when you're with them your eyes won't leave the sight of them because you're scared if you blink you'll miss that one second of looking at heaven on earth, have you ever kissed him and closed your eyes so tightly because that way you feel like it's just you and him and that's all you need, that wen you're not thinking about him, you're thinking of thinking about him, and when he smiles it's like you've been vaccinated from ever feeling upset or sick again. He makes you laugh so much that even when his not funny you still laugh because he says he loves your laugh . Well have you ever loved someone you couldn't have and that everything I've just said,he shares it with someone else too..... Guess we can't always have what we want :-(

WHEN??!!!!....

It's nearly the end I can feel it. It's almost the end I can breath it.. When it's finally over will I be able to take it?? When I've finally let go.. When I stop expressing myself? When I can no longer have anything to write about? When.. When.. When !!! Ha.. That seems to be a continous word in my vocabulary... When will he notice me? When will he care? When will he love me the same way I love him? I'll be here When he decides to?? Well no! When will he stop these mind games!!!

When will he realise that his selfish ways have reached my heart to a final conclusion!! The very heart beat in my heart is now impulsively reversing itself and causing me a headache, not the headache you know though.. Haha no!! This is the new one, the non heard of one , it's a literal feeling of him sitting in my mind refusing to leave and hurting me in there!! When will he get out?? When will this stop?? You know what... He won't stop he won't change. All left to say is.... When he reads this.. I'll be gone.. =|

He Doesn't Love You,...Or Does He?

I've tried to stay true to my feelings, so here's the truth no hard feelings....

As the sun rises and sets, days go by like the road looks when you watch it behind you, sitting in the backseat of your mothers car. Everything you see on that road stays behind, even the bad speed humps and port holes that may cause you to lose your life. But memories of it continue to live on with your everyday life.

Have you ever cared so much about someone that your every thought depends on what their doing and how their feeling, you almost wish you had been born into this world as them. As you'll often find that you want to see, be and breath them. That when you lay in your bed at night you almost think you are sleeping because you've been awake for so long, you no longer know the difference between being awake and sleeping. When that person calls you or communicates with you, ur heart jerks.. Because the very thought that he/she are taking the time to use the breath inside of them to form words to speak to u makes you scared and happy at the same time.

Certain people belive that the definition of love is whatever definition they conclude to due to their own experience, I agree. There's no definition of true love. Because the way you love and show someone how you feel in many ways will not always suite others view of love. Which is why you should not depress yourself as it's possibly that the person you love, is loving you with everything they have.......


Oh who are we kidding ?? Excuses!! If you've written or read this up to now agreeing... His not worth it!! ;-(

He does NOT love you....

Note From My Heart...

It all begins with the small particles of feelings when your heart beats so fast that you feel like you want to cry and laugh at one time but then you realise you want to smile because if you cry you’ll only get a headache. The feeling of letting go of the person that you really care about Is like tearing your leg off and letting it bleed without doing anything about it, not covering it up. I will always wonder why I feel the way I do, so insecure about love and so insecure about relationships. You would often think I’m crazy because I care so much about someone I actually come to the point I cant separate myself from them, I want to be with them constantly, share every moment together, hold them, speak words to each other that only we understand, the language of love that can only be decoded by the connection of eyes meeting and nothing else spoken by the asset we call lips. Lips speak, we use it for other things too but for me those lips are the key to something special you share between you and the one you love. And when those lips combine this is a sign language to expressing the love inside me. The love inside me is fighting to get out and when I let it come out I share it, but always looking forward to disappointment as it is stolen from me, left with no love to my name. just a hole in my heart, as the other person leaves with both loves in his pocket. I lay on the ground weeping, having this burning desire to put my hand inside my torso and search for the other piece, the one that I have kept safe for only He who stole the other half has not returned it to me. I reconvene another He and ever so kind is He. He takes it and offers to donate half of his to make a full one with mine. He passes it to me. I hold it in my hand for he trusts me. I put inside me to keep it safe.. Whilst I’m asleep he meets with a She who helps him steal the heart we made… and thats how I decease… (Killed the love we shared)

My Non-Existing Existence

Its crazy because my deepest thoughts come to me when I am alone and have slow music playing. Its that thunder outside.. That rain pouring down my window, the wind whispering its way around me. Uncoded languages that probably explain the purpose of my existence. I have often found myself weeping as I every so often feel like noone will ever understand me, noone will ever try. Its almost like a feeling you get when you are in a room full of people but yet, you feel so alone. Screaming so loud but noone can hear you. Dying and noone noticing. The only memory of you remaining to be the girl that was there, but was I truly there to begin with, or was I a figure of the imagination, created by bored people in a conversation about a mad girl who writes poems about her non existing existence.. I’ll let you think…